I fell head over feet into a lockdown relationship back in the first lockdown (March). Months = Years and the intensity bubbled up rapidly like Versuvius erupting and killing everyone in its process. But that’s the cliff notes – let me start from the beginning and let me fill you in on some of the pros and cons of having a lockdown boyfriend.
I guess I should start by giving you some context to the situation I was in. It was the end of February 2020 when I arrived back in the UK after an incredible 4 months travelling in South America. I came back to the UK and was ready to move out of London after living here all my life. I was also wanting to say goodbye to the corporate world and set up my own business venture with my best friend.
Suddenly in early March there was news warning that a virus from China was heading our way and as we know it resulted into a global pandemic that is still ongoing today. To say that my plans shifted and my priorities changed was an understatement.
It Happened So Quickly
Right before we went into lockdown I had met a guy that I liked. And to be honest this was a rare thing for me in London.
- Because I don’t tend to like many men or boys in London – (yes this does sound like I am a very fussy person – and I agree with you).
- I am always travelling so it’s hard to keep any type of relationship going long term.
- I was surprised further for the fact that I met him via a dating app which for sometime now I had always ruled that I would ever meet some suitable on those apps that would turn into a committed relationship.
Suddenly with the news being uncertain and no real guidelines as to when the nightmare would end all the rules of traditional dating went out the window. I certainly went flying into the relationship. I guess the timing was perfect because we met one week before lockdown started and when the news was imminent that we would have to stay locked up for an unknown amount of time I thought this was the perfect time to escape my tiny two bedroom flat that I share with my brother and move in with my said partner of 1 week into his 3 bedroom house.
To be honest this type of relationship certainly had its ups and downs
Like about 3/4 of the UK I’ve had a lockdown birthday in 2020. It’s crazy to think that this is how much of the 2020 we spent in lockdown due to the global pandemic last year (but hopefully not the case for 2021).
My birthday is in May so we had only been dating for a few months but with-it being lockdown, it seemed that we knew each other very well. I’ve got to say though my birthday was one that I would remember greatly. My boyfriend did a great job of decorating the whole house with banners and balloons so that when I woke up I was immersed with celebrations and party decor. I think like most people it wasn’t a birthday I planned but it was certainly made special by him.
1 – 0 to having a lockdown boyfriend.
The Strain on The Relationship
Living with a partner is certainly a lot different to dating a partner. I think we can all agree with that. Many people’s relationships have struggled in lockdown because of the fact that you are spending all the time with them and there is no escape. I think even in the most stable relationships it must take its toll at times.
Somehow being in lockdown and confined to just a room or house really intensified the relationship by having limited people to see or talk. This being because it’s only your partner who is the sole person you can confide in and share experiences with. It’s up to both of you whether you take the time to really grow as a pair or isolate yourself away becoming more distant and estranged from your partner.
For us it was a lot of ups and downs. I think lockdown made us feel a lot more comfortable with each other after a few weeks when in normal instances it would take me years to do those things with a partner. I remember matching and folding his socks and then realised that I don’t even do that for myself. There were constant disagreements when going food shopping and the small things that you would normally not bother to mention in a new relationship soon escalated into heated discussions with words exchanged.
1.1 to having a lockdown relationship.
Our First Date
The sad part was that it wasn’t until August 21st that we actually had our first date in the outside world. Obviously, we were cohabiting and we had plenty of dinners, meals together and walks to last a lifetime. However, it wasn’t until COVID rules started to settle down around the summertime that we officially had our first date. By this time, we had begun to meet people outside our own household and restaurants were doing sit down service. By first date I mean one whereby we dressed to impress and where we pulled out all the stops to look our best. It’s so bizarre to think that after knowing someone so intensely for 6 months, doing a simple thing like sitting down at a restaurant opposite them felt like such an alien experience.
This though has to be one of my favourite memories and experiences with my boyfriend. It was the first time I saw a different side to my partner. The efforts he made when getting ready and just the showmanship he had when on a date left me a little speechless. It was certainly a date that ticked all my boxes. And while it may not have seemed like a first date in terms of how much we knew about each other, the experience of being together and being able to share a new happy experience was one that will remain forever in my happy successful first date experiences. 2-1 for having a boyfriend in lockdown
The End is a Predictable Outcome
So after lockdown eased over the summer it seemed that the relationship was doomed. We inevitably found it difficult to function outside of our lockdown bubble. Our desires and wants in a relationship were on different tracks. Things that I would have probably found out on date 3-4 only came to the surface when we were allowed to go back into the outside world. I think we both tried to make it work or try a little bit harder because of the time that we had spent together.
I think for some couples that had been together before lockdown they knew that if they could get through this as a couple, they could get through anything. It has certainly been great to see so many of my friends now engaged because they’ve seen all the sides of their partner in their lockdown. The funny thing for me and the relationship I was in is that we didn’t have experience of being a couple in the real world. While we managed to get through the first lockdown it was actually the outside world in which we learnt we weren’t as compatible as we thought.
2.2. Dating in Lockdown – Its a draw – no winning outcome.
So, what is my advice on dating in a lockdown? If the right person comes along and you have those butterflies in your stomach then make it happen. When the normal world resumes though remember you can’t stay in a bubble forever. My lesson was that you need to listen to your gut and your head. Your heart can’t always rule,